The Special One for CampLands (Op-Ed by José Mourinho)

José Mourinho wants Respect for this blog.

I want to state it clearly: El Duque, Pablo Fanque and I are the only people deserving Respect in the bloody world of Development. I couldn’t say no when they asked me to write the first Op-Ed for CampLands, although my time is very precious (as the reader might know, in the last years, I have been involved in several redemption programmes for football teams with an embarrassing past or present).

As a Portuguese, I know the recipe of a genuine colonialism, i.e. development: the merit of CampLands is to list the ingredients of that recipe. Information Technology to solve conflicts (Joe Biden, what a genius), the Losers’ Rank to understand who should be given priorities (thanks George Clooney, it’s not a case we look alike), music as the best way to stimulate sympathy and Portuguese olive oil sold as it was made in Italy.

There’s another thing I want to state clearly though: if those two losers are just trying to make money out of my name, to gain exposure through my OpEds, then we have to talk. Firstly, as I said, my time is precious and my fee would be equal to the GDPs of a few Global South countries. Secondly, El Duque and Pablo Fanque should tell me when they deliberately decide to offend my favourite single of the 80s. Do they know it’s Christmas? Well, I guess they don’t, since the amount of crap they wrote on We Are The World sounds as false as Arsene Wenger’s hair.

Well, I have to admit that el desarrollo era un puterio ante de CampLands, quoting my friend Diego Armando Maradona. But still, those two bastards will have to try hard to involve me again in this.

Besht, JM