Introducing the The Inequality Asshole Index, spring 2011 edition

Thousands were left out

Today at Camplands we introduce our quarterly Inequality Asshole Index, a highly sophisticated graphic methodology that illustrates those at the forefront of generating unequal societies, relationships and/or dynamics. It is so complex we won’t attempt to explain it. We know grave omissions have been made; just now a war for oil is once again under way, with dozens of assholes lining up to shine. Thus, these coming weeks will determine our next summer index, while this one reflects on the past months.

We hope you enjoy and share this new scientific/statistical standard, soon to be compared to the Economist’s Big Mac Index. Or not. In any case, just so you understand how hard making this list is, neither Sarkozy, Glenn Beck or LeBron James made it. We’ll try to make it up to those guys in some other way.

Regards,

PF & ED

Specialized abuse push Fairtrade to introduce new logo family

From left: Fairtrade logo; Fair My Ass logo; new branding on blood bananas

Fairtrade released yesterday the first images of their upcoming logo family, set to begin a new, broader categorization of trade standards. The Fair My Ass label seeks to acknowledge the growing specialization in global markets of exploitative, one-sided economies, where labour rights are disregarded and maximum profit reigns supreme. Recent years have seen a rise in shady production practices but, despite this sector’s industrious effort to win through injustice, they remain largely ignored by the marketing world and field organizations.

Seeking to tackle this void, Fairtrade first looked at what caused this phenomenon. “It’s total crap. A lot comes from a person’s habits and perceptions. Humanity has a problem with spending less, with buying cheaper products. Farmers with sustainable produce and egalitarian work schemes are cashing in like crazy, controlling a market that once used to be universally unfair and just plain disgraceful. It is a shame how our values have been transfixed,” said spokesman Manoel Kiang. “The Fair My Ass label will enable producers showcase their dishonest products with pride, knowing that their repeated distortion of rights, law and ethics will be supported by a globally recognized standard. Plus, the logo is metaphorical and deep,” added an excited Kiang.

Several questioned companies attended the branding launch, hoping that Fair My Ass soon becomes part of the everyday commercial lexicon. The label will be included in companies websites and future packaging, if at all. “This is a landmark achievement for our industry. It is a shout out to the world and the stuck-up ethical movement that keeps putting us obstacles,” commented coffee plantation owner Guillaume Jayawardhana. “I want people to know it took a whole lot of abuse to produce this coffee… borderline slavery. With this nice little logo I will, at least, partially say thanks to those who believe in our methods by buying our products. And to the whiners out there: fair my ass, suckers,” he concluded.