Room for Manoeuvre fails LEED environmental design certification

Official floor plan of Room for Manoeuvre (courtesy of Arup)

The highly anticipated construction of the Room for Manoeuvre saw a damaging setback yesterday, after international grading system LEED rejected the site’s application for environmental certification. This comes a week after UK’s BREEAM also denied the room any chance of obtaining its approval. Initially advertised as a paragon of sustainability, the Room for Manoeuvre now looks to become just another sweaty, noisy hellhole, showing its traditional what-does-it-really-stand-for character. Failing the certification standards will also hinder any substantial differentiation from competing projects The Space of Negotiation and ambitious Middle Ground.

Building the Room for Manoeuvre has gone from rhetorical to unpractical. Conflicts arose from the start between architects and engineers: the former group argued the room could not be bound by conventional walls, as it had to adapt and reflect the necessities of its occupants, while the latter said that idea was too flamboyant and expensive. The engineers advised against the room altogether, having never understood “what this bullshit is all about,” informed Arup project manager Gajbaahu Lipponen. However, Arup continued the project because it still fitted into their plan to rule the world’s built environment. “Manoeuvre all you want, my friend, but this needs a reinforced concrete perimeter. These days it’s all about protection. If not, I guarantee in two days this space will be filled by all sorts of opinionated douchebags,” added Lipponen.

The Room’s environmental failures were myriad, with contamination spilling since the foundations layout. The stench of empty metaphor was so strong after the first weeks that neighbours started complaining. Missing BREEAM and LEED requirements then seemed an inevitable outcome. The project has also been plagued by precarious cash flow; lack of funds made it impossible to design the room everyone hoped for, in what seems to be the room’s perpetual destiny. As of now, Arup reported limited budget for the lounge but enough to put basic fixtures in the toilet for manoeuvre.

Nikolos Johnson, assistant architect, reflected on the project’s failures: “For starters, I just want to remember how to spell the fucking word without checking the dictionary. About the project itself, well… it’s a shame. We aimed at everything, and in the end got nothing. Forget Gold or Silver… we missed LEED Certified, which is kind of a gimme these days, right? It’s embarrassing” he lamented.